Friday, August 04, 2006

Hit Over the Head

Every so often I get in a funk about Nicky, focusing on all he CAN'T do instead of what he CAN, who he's NOT instead of who he IS. This one started on our visit to Michigan, we saw my brother & family. Their oldest is 3 days older than Nicky but miles ahead. Then last night, we all went on a bike ride down to our neighborhood pool & playground. There was a neighbor there with her twin boys who are about Nicky's age. Watching those boys I was just so sad. Anyway, came home put everyone in bed and was reading mailing lists and there was a note about a young man with DS who died this afternoon. Whomp, just a reminder to focus on what we do have and just enjoy what is, not what "could have been".

Nicky can:

  • Scoot everywhere on his bottom,

  • Sign or say more than 100 words,

  • Put together 2 and 3 word sentences (e.g. "Mommy no sing" everyone's a critic <sigh> ),

  • communicate his needs & wants,

  • Take his clothes off and put some on,

  • Follow directions when he wants to,
  • Throw an object hard & fast,

  • charm the pants off everyone he meets...and a million other things

In other words be a "normal child" whatever that is.


Dream Mom said...

I think it's always good to have perspective on what's normal and also what other kids with DS can or can not do. Sometimes it may depress you but it can also uplift you to see that perhaps at some point, your son will be able to do those things too.

It's very hard in the beginning (I wrote a post called Don't Hate Me Because I am Beautiful that talks about these feelings) when you see things kids can and can not do.

I think the best thing is to focus on doing whatever you can to make your son feel really good about who he is. That's the best gift you can give him. That's what all children need to grow into healthy adults.

Nice blog! Welcome to the blogosphere.

mum2brady said...

I get in these funks sometimes too. I just try and pick myself up and remember that Brady doesn't really care what he can't do LOL Sure he gets frustrated sometimes, but in general, he is happiest when I am doing everything for him LOL

Nicky is darling :) he definitely shines in that respect, and really, if he is happy and feeling successful, isn't that what is really important :) I keep telling myself that, and it really does help :)


Susannity! (Susanne) said...

Just browsing blogs and came across yours...
I have a 5 year old son with hydrocephalus. He may not be 'normal' but he has a heart that I would also consider not normal and we feel blessed to be able to be around that daily. Once when my son was 11 months old and we were at the neurosurgeon's office, a mother came in with her 11 month old daughter. Her daughter was born with no brain at all, just the brainstem. She said she could not hold her daughter because she screamed from the sensation of being touched. I will always remember that mother and daughter, and I am never anything but thankful for my son.
Best wishes to you and your family.
ps- I'm a knitter as well, and you are very good!