Monday, July 09, 2007

Fine

"How are you?"

"Fine"

"And the kids?"

"Fine, good, great"

"How's Nicky doing?"

"Great"

Fine, good, great..

Most days I can say it and really mean it. Things are fine, good, great even. Lots of joy. But some days they just aren't and never will be. My child has disability, he's mentally retarded, how can things be really great?

How do you communicate to a casual acquaintance or even a good friend what it's really like? Mostly life's good but the dips in the road can be steep.

Been here before. Seems to be the latter part of the summer. Is it just having more time for reflection? The approach of Nicky's birthday? All the plans for the summer? This is going to be the summer Nicky walks, or has been for the past 3 summers. The approach of school and all the expected changes?

Looking forward to fall.

4 comments:

Shelley said...

I know what you mean. That is why I love having a blog and reading others too.

Shelly said...

I once heard the mother of a child with special needs say that he was her gift from God. I have a strong belief in God, even so, I had a hard time dealing with my strong willed child who was altogether too smart for his age, and I had a lot of days I didn't "feel" like he was my gift from God even though I know he is and was. So I do understand the frustration, the questioning, and such that you must surely deal with on occasion.

My heart goes out to you. I can't say I know what you're going through, each situation brings it's own set of feelings, and problems. Just know that there are people out here who are mentally holding you in our hearts, and we're also holding you up in prayer. The strength will come.

Shelly

Special Needs Mama Prof said...

Oh I hear you. My next piece in Literary Mama is about anniversaries. It's always hard, these yearly visits .

mum2brady said...

I think each transition is hard - and transitions happen almost every year! Big hugs!!!

I think it is good and fine and great almost all the time - but there are moments of frustration, behaviors that are hard (in all children, but are more apparent in our kiddos with sp. needs, as more people tend to notice them). Plus - it is hard when you are working on something sooo hard, and it is taking sooo long to accomplish!

Here's cheering and praying and hoping that THIS is the summer that Nicky will walk independently :) And - good luck on the potty training!!!

You are not alone - we're all here for you - in moments of fine, and not so fine :)

Hugs!!!