What we did today

Today we set out for Stone Mountain and the Highland Games. Nate was fascinated by the caber toss. M.E. by the fiddlers. But both were disappointed that the blacksmith wasn't there. So, after a while we went over to Stone Mountain Crossroads Village to see the blacksmith there. Nate thought it was cool, Nicky thought it was too loud. Learned that a cobalt alloy is now being used on plough blades. And Kim & I had cokes, Nicky HiC, Nate dippin dotes and M.E. was cold. I should have better pictures, but I keep forgetting to take them.

Catch Up Post #2: Nate hurt his foot

The day after Nick's birthday, Nate was playing outside with friends. A game that involved "fighting with sticks." We're not quite sure how it happened but somehow Nate ended up with several pieces of wood in his foot. The entry was between his 3rd & 4th toes. The first trip to the ER involved X-ray and ultrasound. Wood doesn't show up on X-ray very well, hence the ultrasound. Which doesn't seem to be the most reliable method for determining what's in there either.

The second trip to the ER involved IV antibiotics after infection set in.

This is how it looks today, a month afterwards. We've consulted a surgeon who thinks there is sill at least one piece still in his foot. The spot near his toes is a migration of the initial puncture wound and the spot further back may be a hematoma or a granuloma(?) of the foreign body (piece of wood).

Surgery is scheduled for Thursday.

Nicky to Nick

Another transition in the past year has been from Nicky to Nick. It started with the OT at school requesting that Nicky be taught to write "Nick" since the letters K and Y have diagonal strokes which are difficult to execute. His teachers started calling him "Nick" and we've sort of picked up on it. Nick seems a bit more grown up especially for my big six year old. (she says somewhat wistfully).

Catch Up Post #1: Nicky Turned 6!

Last Month Nicky Turned 6!

Obviously, Lightning McQueen and Woody are still among his favorites (we should have bought stock in Disney)

What an amazing year it's been:

• Nicky finally put it all together and started walking independently.
  
• He can now climb up and down stairs holding onto the hand rail and occasionally uses reciprocal steps.
  
• He is putting together two, three and longer sentences. Some are just words and some are combinations of words and signs.
  
• He can reliably recognize all of the letters and tell you the sound it makes.
• He can write NICK.
• He can count to 5 and recognize some numbers.
• He is starting to use pronouns correctly, although I do miss "carry you".
• He still loves music but is starting to be a critic of family members' singing.
• He knows how to operate the DVD player and can turn on the tv with a remote.
• He can operate the mouse to play computer games.
• He knows animal signs for a vast number of animals and can make the animal's sound.
• He's getting very good at bossing everyone around and ignoring us when he doesn't want to do something.
• He can throw and kick a ball.
• He's just such a love and a blessing.

Catching UP

O.K., so I've totally dropped the ball on the 31 for 21. But, I'm really really really going to try to catch up. I figure if I write two posts per day for the next 14 days I can catch up. Yeah right.

Why I Knit

Most everyone who knows me knows that I knit. Constantly or almost constantly. I've been knitting since I was 18. Mom taught me the summer before college. I knit a lot in college for relaxation and to create things. I knit several "boyfriend sweaters" for the same boyfriend and of course we didn't marry. (The only thing I've knit for my hubby is a pair of cashmere socks that shrunk in the wash). Mostly I followed patterns. After graduation I kept on knitting. About that time I discovered Barbara Walker's treasuries and started making sampler afgahns out of acrylic yarn. In retrospect, most are pretty hideous. But, that's the yarn I could afford.

Went to grad school and knit some. I was too busy in life and my next job to knit much. When I was expecting my first I knit her a sweater and then another after she was born. Lots of friends had lots of babies, so I knit lots of baby sweaters.

After Nicky was born life was chaos. But about that time knitting became very popular and the yarns that were available, oh my the yarns that were available. Started knitting scarves with novelty yarns (eyelash yarn - ugh). Then felted bags, then socks (the ill-fated cashmere ones). I started designing my own bags and socks and sweaters. Now, I rarely follow a pattern and have published a few.

It's interesting how my knitting has evolved from being very product oriented to process oriented. I've gone from being monogamous to having multiple projects in the works at all times. Gone from relying on a pattern and not always understanding what went wrong when it didn't work to designing and viewing patterns as a starting place not a bible.

Anyway, the reasons I knit:

• Maintain sanity
  
• Have something that is not undone five minutes after it's finished
  
• Have something to do at boring meetings
  
• Have wonderful gifts to give (or not)
  
• Play with color and pattern
  
• Drive my husband crazy with projects left lying around all over the place
  

There are many more but the first is the most important.

Start of 31 for 21

Tried to post every day in October last year in honor of Nation Down Syndrome month and didn't succeed. Maybe this year will be different.

October 1 is a special day for us because Nicky came home from the hospital after 13 days in the NICU on October 1st, 2002. So, now it's been six years!

School Days

Everyday, after he gets off the bus, I ask Nicky how school was and if anything happened. Usually, he says "bus" since the bus ride seems to be the highlight of the day. Today, he made the sign for Police Officer (the letter C held to your chest). It's career week and the father of another student, a police officer came to visit his classroom. Guess he made a good impression. A nurse also visited but she obviously didn't make as big of an impression.

Nicky can also pick out his name from a list of four names, write an N and an i, and tell you all the letters in his name!

First Day of School Pics

Only about a month late, first day of school pictures.

Nick & Dad waiting for the bus

M.E. & N at the door, a traditional shot

N at school, I took this one to annoy him

M.E. at the bus stop another chance to bug my kids

Letters vs. Numbers

Nicky can recognize all the letters, tell you what sound they make and even tell you some words that start with that letter. He knows that putting letters together makes words and can even recognize a few sight words. But, for some reason numbers are really tough. He can count to ten but if you show him a number he can't make the connection between the number and the word for it. I find it both fascinating and frustrating and for the same reason. He can obviously make a connection between an abstract concept of a written letter and the sound it makes. And the connection between a group of letters and a word and what the word means. But he does not apply the same numbers. With my older kids learning letters and numbers happened simultaneously, why not Nick? Something more to ponder and research.

In the Land of Pooh

Unfortunately, not AA Milne's cute cuddly character but the other kind. Nick's lower GI issues continue. The good news is he's getting lots of practice using the potty. The bad news is he doesn't always make it. This too shall pass..

I love Nick's school

I don't know what the future will bring for Nicky's education, but right now I just love his school. He's in an inclusion pre-K class, something I didn't think would be possible a few years ago. Tonight was curriculum night. Nicky has been sick since the weekend so he hasn't been in school. All his teachers wanted to know how he was doing and said what a delight he's been so far. I had so much anxiety about this placement and in the first two weeks has done well. He's been writing the letters N, I & K. He's learned their routines and is starting to use the potty regularly. And they are ok with the pull-ups.

Sigh

Warning: this a a feeling sorry for myself post...

My next door neighbor is having a party for all the rising kindergartners and it's driving the dog nuts. But, it's not the dog that's bugging me (or at least not most of it), rather that Nicky should be going to K this year and would be if he were a typical kid. Meanwhile, I've cleaned three pairs of poopy underwear in the past hour. So much for potty training which means he'll likely be moved either to the self-contained Pre-K class or back down to the Inclusion Preschool class he was in last year. Sigh. Now, it really wouldn't be moving back just staying in place. Sigh, sigh, sigh.

Light at the End of the Tunnel?

Sometimes, I look at my friends with typical kids about Nicky's age and am so envious of how independent their kids are and how dependent Nicky is. But, we've seen so much growth in the past year. Walking is a huge part of it, no longer having to carry Nicky has made life easier, we even go places without the stroller and he walks. He can feed himself and drink from an open cup. He's working on dressing himself. He's speaking more and understandable to others outside the family. He definitely can make his needs and wants known. If taken to the potty regularly, he's generally dry. BM training is not happening at all at the moment. Unfortunate, since he has between 1 and 3 per day it's a problem. It'll come in time, but I'm still hoping for an instant miracle.

Connections

Nicky's current movie favorites are the Ice Age movies. This afternoon he was watching the movie. I went to unload the dishwasher and he'd disappeared. He came downstairs a few minutes later with his stuffed elephant. He is now watching the movie copying Manny's actions. I just love it when he makes these sort of connections.

Seven Days From Now...

Is the first day of school! Yay! Boo! Never thought I'd say this when the older two were younger but the summer is much too short. Only 11 weeks, it goes much too quickly. Is time speeding up? Or just old age?

Most of what I wanted to happen this summer has. But Nicky still isn't potty trained. He's supposed to be trained for the program he's enrolled in this year. At this point, he's mostly dry if put on the potty at regular intervals. But, he doesn't initiate anything, so I guess I'm the one who's trained.

Still hoping for a miracle.

Why?

Why is it that I obsess about what could have been, or might have been or should have been, instead of what is? Especially since what is is pretty darn good?

And awfully darn cute?

Sorry for the long absence from posting, the end of school and start of summer has just been crazy. Back to semi-regular posting soon.

Encounter

A few weeks ago, I took Nate to urgent care for an ear infection. Nicky came along. While we were sitting in the waiting area, a woman sat down across from us. Somewhat hard to understand, she asked if Nicky had Down Syndrome. I replied that he had.

Then she said: "I had Reye's Syndrome when I was 6 years old. I almost died. Now I can walk and talk. I'm a miracle baby!"

Writing, it doesn't sound all that remarkable, but this woman's joy in her accomplishments and life was so contagious I just had to share. I hope my own miracle baby has as much joy in his life as she did.

You're Weird...

There is a restaurant in our village with a large grassy area in front. After eating their dinners the kids play while their parents finish up or enjoy another glass of wine. Sometimes, I'll send Nicky out with M.E. and others I go with him. He's walking but still looks a little like frankenstein. Last weekend, I went out with him while K stayed behind to pay up.

As we were walking out a little girl, about the same age, ran out of the restaurant next door. She saw Nicky and started running circles around him taunting "you're weird" in a sing song voice. It hurt and made me angry. I know, if something similar had happened to M.E. or Nate the incident would have been laughed off and forgotten. But because Nicky is different it stings and I can still hear "you're weird" running through my head. Also, because 99.9% of our interactions are positive this one sticks out even more.

Milestones!

Nicky is officially walking! He's been taking independent steps since before Christmas but now he's doing it on his own and walking long distances without holding on to things. We went to the orthotist today and he was casted for AFOs (or was that SMOs). He didn't like the process one bit, he doesn't like anyone messing with his feet and the casting process is exothermic which he found more than slightly uncomfortable.

The other milestone is figuring out the computer mouse. He can now start up his favorite programs from the icons and click where he wants. His favorites are Dr. Seus's ABC and Cat in the Hat. I'm looking for suggestions for other programs he might enjoy. The kids received a new computer for Christmas and it doesn't run any of the programs I have from the older kids. It's an Intel based iMac.

Nate's First Place Tech Fair Project

Nate won first place in our state technology fair for third grade, multimedia. Here is his project, originally in powerpoint, now turned into a movie.

Considering I was a chem major..

I should be able to pass this thing. Although, I did need help from M.E. on one thing.

I've always suspected that...

Walking to school with Nate the other morning he said:

"Two boys, a husband, a girl and a dog, you have a tough life. You know you're our slave don't you?"

Rip, Thunk

Nicky loves to take his shoes and socks off, will do it anywhere, anytime, he's given the chance.

We were driving over to M.E.'s school for a dinner and an open house. It's a short drive, less than 10 minutes. About halfway there I hear rip, thunk, rip thunk from behind me.

"Nate, did Nicky take off his shoes?"

"Yep"

"Nicky, don't you dare take off your socks."

After a minute of silence...

"Na, na, na..."

"Nate, did Nicky take off his socks?"

"Yep, and he's saying na na na boo boo."

Sure enough, in the rearview mirror, I see that Nicky has his thumbs in his ears, waggling his fingers singing "na, na, na"

I did the only thing I could, laughed.

I wish I had a Crystal Ball

We had Nicky's IEP meeting this week to set new goals and decide his placement for next year. His current teacher was somewhat bemused (or more like what the h---?) with his previous goals. Oh well, I think his new goals are more understandable and measurable.

His placement for next year will be in an inclusion pre-Kindergarten class. The other options are to keep him in the preschool class he's in or a self contained Kindergarten class. They pre-K curriculum is language based with an emphasis on pre-reading. I worry that we are selling him short and that he should be doing a Kindergarten curriculum next year. But, pre-reading is where he is, he recognizes most of his letters, is starting to associate sounds with them, can count to 5 more or less. Because of when his birthday is he will be in school until he is almost 22, so a few extra years at the beginning may be the best thing. But, we don't know for sure.

Also, they are not seeing any of the behavior issues we saw last year, with difficulty transitioning and refusing to work with or for therapists. We also decided against a full psych evaluation at this time, having him keep the developmental delay label. There are pluses to having him evaluated now but he also doesn't test well more by refusing to perform than by not having the ability.

Things I never expected to say to my daughter

Don't point your epee at that boy just because he threw snowballs at you.

I couldn't handle a special needs child...

I don't know how many times I've heard that phrase. Usually followed by some sort of praise or comment about how strong I/we are. But, that's not the case.

When I was pregnant with Nicky, the AFP indicated possibility that he had Down Syndrome. Throughout the pregnancy I prayed he didn't have Down Syndrome since I was sure that I couldn't handle it.

When Nicky was first born (at at times since then) I've been totally overwhelmed by the thought of the future and was sure I couldn't handle it. While he was still in the hospital I joined several Down Syndrome news groups, mailing lists and online forums. The information and new words were overwhelming, IFSP, OT, PT, IEP, hypothyroidism, hear defect, Hirshsprung's... the list goes on and on. Before leaving the hospital we were referred to early intervention, a program that provides therapy in home to children under the age of three with birth defects, and delays. we were also given paper work to apply for Medicaid for Nicky.

Once Nicky was home we realized that caring for a baby with Down Syndrome isn't all that different than a typical one. He was a little more floppy, we were worried about weight gain and he had a few more doctor's appointments. But day to day it was the same. I learned I could handle a child with special needs at home.

When Nicky was a month old we had our first visit from EI. A caseworker came with a nurse and a special educator. They complemented us on Nicky, how cute he was, all the things a new mother loves to hear. They suggested because of his tone we should have an evaluation by a physical therapist. She came a few weeks later and we started into the whirl of therapy, by the time Nicky was three he had 4 therapy appointments a week. But, along the way I learned that I could handle therapy and a child with special needs.

Turning three means a transition from EI to the school system as the provider of therapy and education for a child with a disability. For about a year before hand I was very apprehensive about the transition. The terms were sometimes different and the process was slightly different but the end result was the same, a group of therapists and teachers working towards Nicky reaching his full potential. Afterwards, I realized that my apprehension for Nicky's transition from EI to the school system was very similar to the transition of my older kids from preschool to kindergarten. And I learned I could handle a Nicky and the school.

Nicky's future as a teenager or an adult with a disability do overwhelm me at times. But, I realize that by that time I will be the parent of a adult with a disability not the parent of a preschooler. And I will be able to handle him and whatever come.

Anne's Excellent Goodwill Adventure

Cate's post on cleaning reminded me of my own adventure cleaning before Christmas.

It all started when I went into the junk heap basement store room looking for Christmas decorations and couldn't even reach them. A fit of recycling, tossing out, trips to Goodwill ensued. Not sure why we had saved every box from every electronic, computer, peripheral we have bought, but we did. Out they went.

The 6 boxes of stuff that were moved unopened from California containing hubby's bachelor kitchen equipment were dispatched to Goodwill.

Turns out the kitchen boxes contained dishes that my MIL had collected week by week with a grocery store coupon. Could I possibly check with Goodwill and see if they still have them?

Over to the drop off location. The truck has been sent on.

Over to the nearby store. Meet a very nice lady named Peggy who called the central office and see where the truck ended up. Go home and find a box with 10 diner plates.

Call Peggy again, still no news.

Go back to the store the next morning. Good news the truck ended up there! Buy back the dinner plates, bread plates, and cups & saucer. No bowls, though.

Tell hubby couldn't find bowls. He says "oh yeah Mom never bought bowls." 

I'm not sure what the moral should be? Never get rid of anything? or Ask hubby first?

Oh the storeroom still contains an old furnace we kept when we replaced when the A/C died a month after we bought the house, since we might some day build a vacation home and need it. Ditto the oven & cook top from when we remodeled the kitchen.

Space Cadet

Last week, I had to cancel a dentist appointment because Nicky had strep. I called and rescheduled it the same day. I could have sworn that the receptionist said Wednesday the 23. But it turns out that it was Wednesday the 30th. That I didn't called to confirm yesterday should have been a clue. Oops, showed up today and was told it's next week.

Scary Things you Don't Want to be Told

"Here, hold this fire extinguisher in case the wiring starts to spark while I flip the light switch."

"That hump in the floor should go away after I put the header in and take the jacks down."

Yes, hubby is redoing the basement, including replacing headers, sure hope he knows what he's doing.

Snow!

Yesterday we had a somewhat unusual occurrence, although it's happened twice within the week. That is snow.

Neighborhood kids at the top of the hill.

 Nate sledding

Nicky looking out at the white stuff. He kept expecting Frosty.

Our back yard, blanketed.

WIP (Work in Progress)

Since this is sort of a knitting blog as well, here's a peek at some of the WIPs that aren't my children.

I've been playing around with mitered squares lately. Here are some knit with Patons SWS. Someday they may end up as an afghan. Don't know if it will be ugly or just interesting. M.E. has been playing with different layouts. I still have a lot of squares to go and not sure if there will be a border between squares or just around the edges. I debated between stockinet and garter mitered squares and ended up liking the feel of stockinet better. But they are slightly trickier to knit.

The beginnings of a baby sweater for a co-worker of K's. I fell in love with the feel of Berroco Comfort. It's worsted weigh nylon/acrylic. I was looking for something in a nice supper-wash wool but nothing struck my fancy. This pattern was originally written for DK, so the fabric may be too stiff. Plus the yarn is more than a little splitty.
Argh, in looking for a link I noticed that a DK weight is available as well. Didn't see that at the yarn store.

Seven Things Meme

Some time ago Beth at Not That You Asked tagged me with a meme to list 7 random/weird things about me. So here goes:

1. I have a weird fetish about double light switches. We have one in the hall at the top of the stairs that controls the upstairs hall light and the foyer light. Both switches have to be in the up or down position, not mixed, I'll even climb stairs to change them.

2. I was an organic chemist in a previous life. I once set a fume hood on fire when potassium metal boiled out the end of a condenser tube. I used a one of those solid fire extinguishers to put it out. There is a cartridge that needs to be replaced after they have been fired. Someone forgot to do it, the next lab fire was pretty serious and the solid fire extinguisher wouldn't work. The entire building was evacuated because of the fire. Fortunately, it was put out.

3. My job was eliminated while one maternity leave with my daughter, I'd really wanted to quit but it still hurt to be fired. The 6 months severance did help ease the pain.

4. I've been pregnant 10 times, but only 3 live children. During my last pregnancy we filled up all the spaces on form.

5. My middle child's name came to me in a dream about Nathaniel Hawthorne. Otherwise, he would have been Nicholas, which we then used for Nicky.

6. I can't stand the taste of celery, don't like the texture much either.

7. I've never been on a diet per se, I'm now 30 pounds more than when I got married, I really need to work on eating healthier, but I like to bake too much.

I'm not sure there are any readers anymore so, if you read this consider yourself tagged.

Setting the table

The other night Nicky wandered into the kitchen and saw that I was making dinner. He sat at his seat for a moment, then picked up his plate, silverware, and napkin. Carried them back into the family room and set the picnic table set up in front of the T.V.

He was so cute, I had to take a picture, and then another..

Ouch! That light hurts my eyes.

When I told him that he had to eat at the kitchen table, he brought his stuff back into the kitchen and reset his place.

Cozy?

Here are 8 of the 24 dish clothes I knit for teacher & friend holiday gifts. I packed them with a bar of melt & pour soap. However, it's obvious from some of the thank you notes that the recipients had no idea what the dish clothes were. Several thanks were for a "cozy", what's a cozy?

That Potty Thing

We've been working on potty training for over 6 months now and are on a plateau now. Before Winter, break Nicky was using the potty regularly at school. Over break he was sick and I was lazy resulting in regression. Since school has been back in session school has had mixed results. He is starting to tell us AFTER he's gone. Progress? He is getting mixed messages by my slacking off at home. I wonder if he is developmentally ready or not. He certainly can hold his urine for several hours and is aware but it resistant. Oh well, no one ever said it would be easy.

Cleaning

Some days I feel like such a housewife and others, well you know. I managed to clean the main floor (dusting, vacuuming, moping, cleaning toilets, counters, etc.) in just about an hour. The actual cleaning never takes that long once I start but I have such a mental block about starting. I also like to have at least a 3 hour block to devote to cleaning, but haven't had that in two weeks. So, since feet were starting to stick to the kitchen floor...

A lot of cleaning time is really just picking up, if I could just get the kids to pick up after themselves, life would be better. In September, I did a major declutter but I noticed things are starting to junk up again. It's mostly stuff being thrown in the laundry room or on the dining room table rather than being put away.

I'll get to it, after Christmas? We'll see.

STEPS!!!!!!!!!!!

I've heard reports of Nicky taking steps but never seen it. He's been getting to standing without holding onto anything and is very solid. Today, at a birthday party, I saw him take 3 small steps and then 2 more. YAY! He may be ambulatory one of these days.

Rainy night in Georgia

Happy Happy Dance. But, now the governor can gloat.

Another Milestone

Nicky has more or less figured out how to work the VCR/DVD combo deck we have. He figured out how to push the tape back in a while ago. But now he knows how to turn on the t.v. put the tape in and put a DVD in. And how to switch from tape to DVD and back again.

Important life skills for sure.

Stability

Tonight Nicky got to standing from kneeling. He's getting so steady on his feet surely he'll be walking soon. He can stand unsupported for minutes at a time (a goal from when he was 18 months old). And walk holding onto one hand. His teacher had him walking holding onto a straw.

Laundry Tip - Not

All summer we've (well mostly I) been having trouble with smelly, mouldy towels. Didn't want to use bleach because these were the kids' towels and they were brightly colored, also bleach seems to leave my towels a bit stiff feeling. After a bit of surfing, ask Dr. Google, I found a suggestion to use white vinegar in the rinse water to get rid of the stink. It works mostly.

But,

Don't accidently add it to the bleach dispenser instead of the fabric softener dispenser.

It adds the vinegar in with the soap, not the rinse water.

Resulting in lots and lots and lots and lots of suds. So much they were coming out the soap dispenser.

Also, don't then add the vinegar to the fabric softener dispenser in addition to vinegar you've already put in.

Three or maybe four cycles later my towels are really clean.

Carrying a little piece of them

Earlier, I read this article about fetal microchimerism perhaps helping to protect women from breast cancer. During pregnancy a small number of fetal cells cross into a woman's bloodstream and take up residence in the mother's body. This is known as fetal michrochimerism. These cells persist for years after pregnancy probably for the rest of the mother's life. Somehow, this idea delights me. I find it comforting that I will always carry small bits of all my children. Just a geek, I guess.

Oh, and maternal cells cross into the fetus, so our children carry little bits of us too.

Down Syndrome Awareness Month

Did you know that October is Down Syndrome Awareness Month?
It is. In honor of it I signed my family up for the Atlanta Buddy Walk.

Oh, and what's with the button? Trish over at Unringing the Bell has issued a challenge to bloggers to blog every day in October in honor of Down Syndrome Awareness. I'll try. We'll see if I make it.

Decluttering and UFOs

I've been busy de-cluttering lately. My house really needs, my life really needs it..

My totals so far:
7 bags to St. Vincent de Paul, my clothes, kid clothes & toys and some household goods
4 bags of trash, broken toys, etc.
2 bags of plastic junk recycled
1 box of clothes to a consignment sale, netted $39.41

In the course of de-cluttering, I came across this:


It was started by my great-grandmother in the 1940s, my grandmother did some of the quilting as did my mom and I was working on it. But, I'm not sure whether to look at it as a family heirloom or a symbol of the inter-generational baggage we all pass down to our kids.

I come from a long line of hoarders. When my grandfather died in 1981, my parents donated chemical engineering journals from the 1950s to the '80s to the college where my grandfather had taught. Don't know if the college actually kept them or were polite. My other grandmother had a story about visiting her prospective in-laws for the first time and having to navigate through piles of old newspapers. Her mother questioned the wisdom of marrying into such a family.

Sigh, sometime I think it's a losing battle.

Next to tackle the basement storeroom, where, not kidding, there is an old furnace we kept because it was only 8 years old and we might someday use it. Now, it's 17 years old and we have to pay to have it hauled away. Scary, really really scary...

A Milestone of Sorts

Came home from to Church to find out that Nicky had managed to lock himself in the powder room while we were gone. Didn't think he had the fine motor skills to turn the lock. Guess the fun is beginning.

Daisy Fenced a Turtle

The other morning Daisy was barking furiously at the fence out back. Nate & I went out to find this poor turtle trying to get through the fence.

She (at least Nate thought she was a she based on eye color) decided to try between the next set of pickets:

No luck there either...

Nate ended up giving her a helping hand

Happy Birthday Nicky!

Blow out the candles

I did it!

What could that be?

Wow! I'm Woody

Yipeee!

Ready for the Gun fight, where's my gun?

Name Calling

The other night we were at our neighborhood pool. There was a father there with three boys, ages roughly 2, 4 & 6. Towards the end of the evening Nicky and the 4 y.o. were on the tennis courts chasing each other around. Nicky was growling and the boy was laughing. The 6 y.o. then joined them and started calling Nicky "idiot" and the 4 y.o. joined in with "poopyhead." As I was about to intervene the father came and grabbed both boys, berated the boys in the tone of voice usually associated with times when your kids have totally mortified you. After a few minutes of lecturing the father bought the boys over and they apologized to both Nicky & me.

Nicky was oblivious and had thought it was all just good fun. I, on the other hand, was very upset, visibly, so that I couldn't do much more than thank the boys for apologizing. If Nicky was a typical kid, the incident probably would have passed without notice or perhaps escalated with Nicky hurling his own insults. But, he's not, and this is the first time, I've experienced unpleasantness on his behalf.

Could the incident have been handled any differently? The boys' father was so furious I'm not sure they understood why their father were so angry. Not having overheard what he said to the, did he explain that Nicky has a disability? Should I have said anything? And, how to prepare for the next unpleasantness of this sort?

What we found in the garden

First Day of School

O.K., so I didn't post this on the first day of school, and it's now been six weeks but, it's my blog.

First Nicky got on his bus:


Then we walked Nate to school:


And M.E. almost missed her bus, or so we thought (it comes around a second time at the specified time)

Vacation

Miles: 2236
Days away: 13
States: 5
Times Nate climbed Mt. Pisgah: 5
Kids: 3
Dogs: 1 (Daisy)
Dead batteries: 1
Strained backs: 1(mine)

Before school started we made our annual trek to Michigan. A few days in Ann Arbor at Grandma's house, a week on Beaver Island and a few more days at Grandma's. Beaver Island is one of my all time favorite places on earth. My father is buried there and we went on our honeymoon there. It's a bit quirky,once home to a colony founded by Mormon, "King" James Strang with a year round population of about 300 which swells to 10 times that in the summer, things definitely operate on island time. Because it is somewhat difficult to get to there is a lot of unspoiled beauty. My family started visiting when I was in college and it's now become the trip my kids look forward to every year.


A family of turkeys strolling accross the front yard


Nate preparing to climb Mt. Pisgah again


We left a treasure in the tree for our friends Katie, Laura, Scott, and Matthew


Enjoying the sun and sand


Even Grandma and Daisy enjoyed the beach

One step forward, two steps back

(or Nothing is as easy as it first seems)

First things I have learned in toilet training Nicky:

1. Nicky can hold his urine for over two hours or until underwear or a diaper are put on.


2. Dogs are good at cleaning up BM and seem to like the taste.


3. While his siblings enjoy potty humor they are grossed out by potty accidents.


4. Warm water on hands really does trigger urination.


5. Staying home most of the day is really boring.

I've been letting Nicky hang out around the house bottom-less most mornings (much to the chagrin of big sis). Then I've been putting him on the potty at intervals. We've had some moderate success and some major failures. This morning started out with a pee accident. Then about an hour later Nicky took his walker into the bathroom. When I went in after him has said "potty". Put him on the potty and he had a BM. Hooray!!! Call Daddy. Give Nicky a cookie

Less than an hour later again he says "potty". Put him on, he sits a while, strains a bit, says "all done". Not five minutes later he had another BM, this time on the porch (this is where the dog comes in.) SIGH. Then about 20 minutes later another BM. SIGH, SIGH.

And, yes he did have three BMs in less than two hours. That's part of the reason I'm pushing for potty training. We are in the midst of a work-up for Celiac. He had the blood work yesterday and I took a stool sample in today. (Had lots of collection opportunities.) Looking over Nicky's record, he hasn't gained any weight in the past 18 months, but has grown almost 2 inches. This is somewhat typical for toddlers but he's at the top of the DS charts for height but falling on the weight charts.

One of these days I will post some knitting. Been doing a fair amount, but lots of startitis.

Fine

"How are you?"

"Fine"

"And the kids?"

"Fine, good, great"

"How's Nicky doing?"

"Great"

Fine, good, great..

Most days I can say it and really mean it. Things are fine, good, great even. Lots of joy. But some days they just aren't and never will be. My child has disability, he's mentally retarded, how can things be really great?

How do you communicate to a casual acquaintance or even a good friend what it's really like? Mostly life's good but the dips in the road can be steep.

Been here before. Seems to be the latter part of the summer. Is it just having more time for reflection? The approach of Nicky's birthday? All the plans for the summer? This is going to be the summer Nicky walks, or has been for the past 3 summers. The approach of school and all the expected changes?

Looking forward to fall.

It's 11:30 and Nicky is still awake

Got to get rid of those naps, darn it.

Summer is Half Over & Pictures

Can't believe it, our summer is half over. We just finished up week 6 and have 5 more weeks left. Starting to get major anxiety about M.E. starting Middle School and Nicky starting at Coralwood.

Here are a bunch of pictures, from before school ended that I've been meaning to post.

All three after Nate's First Communion, they do clean up well


M.E. after Fifth Grade Graduation


10U Softball Champs:


Costal League Champs


Nicky and cousin Jenny

Reactions

Nicky has some stimming behaviors (arching his back, flapping hands, some vocalization) he exhibits when he's in a noisy crowded place, especially when he's tired. For the most part, I'm immune to the slightly lingering stares and the pitying smiles. But, it was the reaction of another child that hurt the most.

We were at a neighborhood Mexican restaurant recently. Nicky and I walked out into the lobby while the others finished their meals. There was a boy about 3 years old sitting on a bench and Nicky crawled over and then climbed up next to the boy. N started stimming. The boy took one look at Nicky, climbed down and hid behind his mother.

Sigh, perhaps I was wrong and the boy wasn't frightened by Nicky. I hope so. I so want him to have friendships with other children and not scare them. He was certainly well liked by the other children at school. They were always glad to see him. And the children in our neighborhood want to play with him.

Yummy!

Ever since the Boston Market near us closed we've been craving rotisserie chicken. My Mother's Day/Birthday gift was a new grill with a rotisserie attachment and rotisserie radiant burner. We've taken it out for a test-drive a few times. This was our result for Independence day dinner. I stuffed two chickens with cut-up lemon, and sage and rosemary from our garden. Rubbed the outsides with Masterpiece bar-b-cue rub. Let the grill do it's thing for nearly two hours and this was the result. Add some slaw and a few veggies. Voila! Dinner. One that everyone will eat. Believe me, that's an accomplishment in this house.

The McMansion Nextdoor

A view from our deck...



Need I say more?

Religion, Sprituality, & Ritual

I was raised Catholic but for a long time wasn't a practicing Catholic. When the kids came along from time to time husband & I talked about raising them in a religion but could never agree. Then two years ago, a friend of M.E.'s was going through RCIC after having been baptized in a protestant religion. We signed M.E. up. It wasn't really a whim but I looked on it as a little shove coming to push us in the right direction.*

I started going to Church again, because after all, couldn't ask M.E. to go alone. Suddenly, for the first time church was enjoyable something I looked forward to. It was a return home, to something familiar. Throughout the years I wasn't attending mass, I still felt spiritual but not necessarily religious. There are things about the Catholic hierarchy and organized religion that I don't totally believe. But, I love the comfort of the familiar ritual.

Mother-in-law's memorial service was held in the Presbyterian church she and FIL have attended for years. I was a nice service, but somewhat unfamiliar. It reminded me again of the comfort of familiar ritual in times of loss and sadness. I don't know what my children will believe but I hope at some future time they can have the same comfort in religion and ritual.

*I am reminded of the joke about the man in the flood who finally gets to heaven and asks G-d why he didn't save him. And G-d answers but I sent the neighbor in the boat, the helicopter, etc. That was one of our messages

Am I nuts?

Trying to potty train Nicky who's not mobile? He's been showing some signs of readiness: awareness of when he's peed, a reduction in negativity, a willingness to sit on the potty and he'd actually peed on the potty at school. But nothing at home. We're trying to sit him on the potty every 30 to 45 minutes. So far, no go (pun intended).

The other step to growing up is getting rid of naps. Currently, he'll nap 2 to 3 hours in the afternoon, but can do just as well without. When we were traveling last week he only napped when in his bed. Also, the last few times he's had a nap he has a tough time falling asleep. Maybe it's time.

Sad

My mother-in-law passed away last week. It wasn't unexpected, she was in congestive heart failure and had stopped eating. She was ready to go. The rest of us weren't quite so ready so it's been hard. The kids miss their MaMaw, my husband misses his mom, and my father-in-law misses his wife.

She had a massive heart attack nearly 16 years ago, so we were lucky to have those extra 16 years. Which meant seeing 2 sons get married and the birth of 6 grandchildren. I'm not sure she totally understood all of Nicky's issues but she was one of his champions.

My list friend who passed away last month died from a heart attack. She'd been having crushing chest pain which at least one Doctor thought might be an anxiety attack.

Did you know?

• That a coronary angiogram may not spot the more diffuse buildup of plaques that often forms in the smaller coronary arteries of women's hearts.



• Heart disease is the leading cause of death in women, and kills 8 times more women every year than breast cancer.



• Women tend to show up in the emergency rooms after much heart damage has already occurred because their symptoms are not those typically associated with a heart attack.



• Recent statistics have shown that the rate of heart disease has declined in men but not as much in women.

Signs of a heart attack in women:

• Neck, shoulder, upper back or abdominal discomfort


• Shortness of breath


• Nausea or vomiting


• Sweating


• Lightheadedness or dizziness


• Unusual fatigue

Not the crushing chest pain that men typically get.

Doin'?

Having a conversation with Nicky is a bit like a game of charades. He communicates with a combination of words, signs, gestures and acting out his point. His favorite movie right now is "Toy Story" and he's quite good at speaking the title. It's hard to resist him when he asks for it so well. Lately, he's taken to acting out the shows and movies he know well. Both while watching and afterward. He had us in stitches tonight with his imitation of Sid's dog Scud, pretending to be Woody lassoing, driving RC, and Buzz's "Too infinity and beyond."

His favorite conversation starter (and continuer) is "Doin'?" as in "what are you doing?" He'll ask it while I'm driving, cooking, etc. He'll ask it about characters in picture books. He'll ask his siblings. His version of "why." Tonight, he opened the bathroom door (another recent obsession - opening doors) and asked me "Doin'?" Sigh, no privacy anymore.

Loss

A mom on one of my due date lists died yesterday. It's hard to explain the loss. She wasn't part of my day to day REAL LIFE. But, she'd posted often on the list. I'll miss her voice. I grieve for her but, more importantly, for her children. God's peace Kristine.